Olivia Serene joined our family at the end of June! She is sweet, beautiful, and healthy. I do believe she is the sweetest tempered baby we’ve ever had!

Had a thought this morning…. I’m rereading a few of my favorite homeschooling books in the hopes I’ll find my perfect game plan….

The thought?

I am worried about many things but only one is needful. Should I do all that I can to introduce my children to this man, Jesus, my life and purpose will have been well sever. For if I success in that ONE thing, I can consider motherhood a success. If I should succeed in MANY things but fail to teach them about Him every single day with love and devotion I will have failed. It will not matter, ultimately, how well they read Latin or if they’ve read the “Great Books.” None of it will matter one bit.

Be mindful mothers. Be anxious for nothing. Only one thing is needful. Cast your eyes on Him daily and walk forward.

It’s been pegged as the Anti-Patriarchal movement.  This morning on the RGT forum, someone offered up this link.

Mary Pride’s book has been targeted as one of the “initial” books in the patriarchal/quiverfull movement and it’s been a very long while since I’ve read it, way back in 2001.

However, her rebuttal is worth reading.  I thought it  well written and on topic.  It made me think.  Perhaps your little girls are a long way off from teen years yet, but let me tell you, about 14/15 you start to hit a panic mode.  TRULY panic mode.

Essentially it goes something like this:
I want her to be well prepared.  I want her to be well educated.  For what?  Oh dear.  I don’t know.  For anything?  If I push her out into the wide world of Academia are we going to lose her heart to the feminism/liberalism that exists and is crammed down student throats at even Christian colleges?  Do I want her to stay home & be married & have babies?  Really?  What if she never does get married?  Is she then still serving God or is she just serving her family and not using any of her gifts?  WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS MEAN AND HOW DOES IT EQUATE TO MY FAMILY?????

I wasn’t terrified 2-3 years ago.  Aware, yes.  Thoughtful, yes.

But, now, with three years left of my “prep” work, terrified might just be the better word.  Then I look down the line.  Okay, one son – that’s easy.   Whatever he does, he’ll have to support himself or a family.  And so he is prepared through work, service, and education.  Then Elizabeth.  Then Rebecca.  Then there’s Tim.  Phew!  Same thing, one standard. Then Abigail, Sarah, Daniella, and Baby Dassah.  Wait.  ((Did I say that?!?  Right, like I’m going to get that name, lol.  – Sorry, got sidetracked.))

It is possible I’ve overthought it.  I mean after all, all I REALLY need to do is pray, love God, and obey and serve.  Preparing my daughter academically does NOT mean turning her into a raging liberal feminist.  Gasp.  As a matter of fact, it turns out that intelligent, beautiful, well spoken, academic minded young women CAN exist to the glory of God.  And it doesn’t mean she must ever be career minded.  Moses REALLY didn’t need a plan for getting the Israelites free of the Egyptians.  He didn’t.  He just needed to love God with his whole heart, be willing to serve, and obey what God told him.  He could not have foreseen the parting of the Red Sea or anything that God did for them so that they could be free and begin the tremendous plan God had for them.  As a matter of fact, without prayer, love, and obedience to God, he would have mucked it all up.

Eight girls to raise up to the glory of God.  Eight.  Some days I truly want to ask God, “What were you thinking?!”  I’m a long shot from Suzy Homemaker, not even the greatest helpmeet even if I’m awfully attached to the husband He gave me.

Ana is in her freshman year of high school.  So what are we preparing her FOR?

My mom asked me a month ago, “So what does Ana want to do?”  I smiled and said, “Well, she’d like to eventually get married, have babies, and homeschool them with the curriculum she’s working on.”

My poor mother, bless her, she froze with this awkward smile on her face.  She wasn’t sure if I was serious or making a joke.

I love her.  We grew up in very different situations and it has colored our perspective an awful lot, but set us in entirely different directions.

Ana’s back up plan is studying law.  That is what she calls it too, lol.  Her back up plan.  She doesn’t want to be a lawyer.  She wants to study constitutional law and write papers in defense of those things she feels passionately about  – homeschooling being first and foremost.

An interesting job choice really.    Is there even such a career?

But I do go back to what MY obligation is to my daughter through all of this.

I, as her mother and as God’s daughter, must love Him, I must obey Him, I must be willing to serve.  I must prepare her for life as best as I can in according to the gifts He gave her.  And then, some day, I’ll stand by and watch prayerfully, as He parts the waters and makes the path more clear.

Is your house ever really clean?

Let me interject here by saying that if you should drop by my house without calling it may appear not so clean. But generally it’s clean every day, at least once, for a little while. Granted it may only be the hour between 5:00 A.M. and 6:00 A.M. but I still consider that an accomplishment.

My answer:
I have also gotten rid of a TON of STUFF over the years.

I’ve found I feel happier, more content, more peaceful with LESS stuff.

If you have stuff, you must maintain said stuff. It’s a rule. I hate the rule, but it’s a rule and it’s true. I don’t have time to maintain STUFF. I have to maintain people. If I didn’t have little people, I could have time to dust knick-knacks, keep plants alive, vacuum twice a day (and have it stay clean), alphabetize my bookshelves, stack dishes neatly, etc. But I DO have little people. And they DO need maintenance… Pesky little things like cuddles, and snuggles. Sometimes the littlest ones even want NURSED or FED! Oy! And the diaper changes – can you believe they need MORE than one a day?!?!? Clean clothes, healthy snacks, read to them, and I guess, if you keep them home, you’re supposed to TEACH them too?!?! You can see how much time they take to upkeep!

Nope, no time for maintaining both the little people AND the stuff. One of them had to go and the State really frowns on you dropping off the little people at Goodwill. So, the stuff had to go. It was a shame. I was attached to some of it….

In other news, Doorposts has a new blog!  They are also doing a huge giveaway.  While I would LIKE to be the winner, it would be greedy of me not to share this news… Plus it gets me another entry.  One has to wonder if the link share is greedy or compassionate???

Why One Mother Walked Away from Motherhood

Honestly? It made me feel angry, but more than just that, it was frustrating. First the end of the fathers… Now the mothers?! Who will ever think of the children? It feels like we’re banging our head against a brick wall in this society. Just because the children can keep up appearances does NOT mean they are okay. And my response to it was just bitter frustration. However, there were apparently some compassionate mothers on the board who could see the sadness in her. I admit I think I missed it. Anger and/or frustration can make us miss some of the not so apparent nuances of life. Interesting, isn’t it?

Another mama, Samantha, wrote this:
“This woman was so desperate to fill the hole in her heart that she *left her children*, and really, there is not any way she can be happy that way, b/c only Christ is going to bring her real true lasting happiness.”

Hm. That made me really stop my gut reaction and think about it. Anger works NOT the righteousness of God.

My thoughts:

“This made me think. You know, I was a little shocked to find she had been married for twenty years. They waited a very long time for children.

My guess is that she chases “happiness” thinking the very next thing will fill her up. Got married, spent years building a career, hoped finally children were the missing link perhaps? Had two. Found out they weren’t “filling her up”, opportunity entered her life. Thinking THIS would be the happiness she’d been chasing, she turns directions. Heads off in another direction, to leave her husband and her children to chase it down. Years later, begins to write THIS book, assuredly THIS will be the happiness she’s given up so much sacrifice for.

In a way… In a way, and I don’t mean it cruelly, but in a way, I hope she wins this award. If she doesn’t win it, she’ll assume all she needs to feel fulfilled is to write ANOTHER book and WIN. If she wins it and it is nothing but emptiness and vain glory, she will have epitomized her career and found out it was all for naught.

You’re right. When we follow something other than Christ, when we chase after something other than Christ, it is empty.

It is this way for career women, for mothers, for quiverfull mothers, for homeschooling mothers… Anytime we’re trying to fill ourselves up with THINGS, or REWARDS, or VISION, but it isn’t Christ, there will be that deadness, that pointlessness of life that always feels empty.”

And it clicked. Truly, this resonated with me. I understand, I think, WHY this mother made this decision.

And so what makes that blog worthy? Let’s face it, lol, I don’t blog often. But there is a lesson to be learned! Oh, yes, even for those of us who are committed mothers, or occasionally mothers who should be committed. Those of us who think we’d never abandon our children, or our families, or our responsibilities. But there are far more of us who hide from unhappiness… Seeking out one thing or another to distract us from our shortcomings. Admit it. There are those of us who feel we can hide from a cup only half filled… Filling it with froth and nothingness (hobbies, computers, time outside of the home, the telephone, a new class, etc. ) rather than the Living Water. If you are always running on empty, it’s because you truly aren’t filling the tank. And the tank isn’t filled by filling/serving OURSELVES. It is only filled by Christ.

Thank you Samantha for the reminder. I needed that. There, but by the grace of God, goes I. And woe to those of us who truly believe it cannot happen to us if we do not prayerfully stand guard to our motherhood and marriages. We must be vigilant to watch over ourselves and our families.

Lori, from Beneath the Rowan Tree, is being generous today and giving away yarn via drawing!
You have several chances to win and you don’t need to have a blog to enter.

While I’m tempted to keep this little secret to myself, I’d also like an extra chance to win, lol!
The dyer is JuliBeans and she does beautiful work!

Please visit her BLOG to enter.

The response:

I think I understand what you mean.

Life, in general, would be very nice if we didn’t have to put up with unpleasantness, difficulty, or being tired, or frustrated.

We somehow have this feeling sometimes that if we didn’t have the children that we would be incredibly pleasant, sweet, cheerful, and lovely.

I think, though I know it to be wrong, that so many people wouldn’t have been the pinnacle of Christian loveliness had they been married with ten children. It’s wrong thinking and honestly, it’s only an excuse for us to not be what we are to be.

There is a quote:
“A cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.” ~ Amy Carmichael

What if we were so filled to the top with Christ that when we’re jolted (as children DO jolt their parents on occasion) that the only thing we could spill on them was Christ?

Think about that.

That means that REGARDLESS of their behaviour we respond in a Christ like manner. It doesn’t mean that we don’t spank, it doesn’t mean that we don’t correct, it doesn’t mean that they are PERFECT… It means that OUR response is NOT dependent on their behaviour.

Do I wish my children were always good and sweet and wonderful? Absolutely I do. But, if all things were truly wonderful and just so would *I* still get in a mood or have a snappy comment? Probably. Why? I’m human and I fail.

NEVER believe Satan’s lie that YOU would be a better person … If only….

If only the children were better.
If only the circumstances were different.
If the weather was nice.
If you could go to X.
If you could do Y.
If you could get a break for a bit…

It isn’t true. God tells us it is perseverance that leads to mature character.

~ James 1 ~

Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

What is mature? Being like Christ and responding like Christ.

How do we become mature? Through perseverance and testing of our faith.

The lie of Satan is that if everything around us was just right, then we would be the people of Christ we were meant to be…. Being like him.

It’s a lie. It’s the OPPOSITE of what is true.

It is hard for us to see the truth. But God tells us what IS true in His book so that we are not deceived.

You, darling, are deceived.
You have bought & paid for a bill of goods that is empty.

Imagine this:

Christ got frustrated because in his hometown they did not believe him or his miracles? Should He have stopped doing miracles?

Paul was aggravated from being thrown in prison, living like a pauper? What if He said, well, I’m doing X, people are responding not as they should, therefore I’m done with this racket.

Stephen – stoning. Surely that didn’t seem like a great plan.

Moses – if all of that was God’s plan, should it not have been EASY?

Daniel could not have been thrilled at a lion’s den.

Somehow we fall into this mythical belief that if God calls us to a task that it should be easy and that if it is not easy and is indeed difficult then it’s a not good plan or not the plan God has for us.

The truth is, look through your Bible. Would the heroes have been the heroes if they had not had HARD situations?

David’s sling and stone wouldn’t have been such a big deal if he’d been up against a little person instead of a giant.

Corrie ten Boom wouldn’t have been admired for what she went through if it had all been happy and easy. And she wouldn’t have been the woman she WAS, unless she saw God work and saw what ugly was.

Think on these things.

Because our children misbehave, because they are children, and human, and choose disobedience, it does NOT mean you have not trained enough. It means they are human and disobedient as we all are, IRL or in our thoughts to our heavenly Father and that you have an obligation to teach them right from wrong. But EVEN if you do your job perfectly & spot on they are STILL going to sometimes make a wrong choice. I see young mamas here believe that if they do everything right and correctly that you have the “recipe” for perfect children. There are no perfect children. There are well trained and well behaved children with hearts turned towards their parents and with soft & gentle hearts, but they are still NOT perfect. After all if we could maintain perfection, why would we need Christ at all??????

But I CANNOT use imperfect children as an EXCUSE on why I do not have to behave correctly myself.

My children can’t be my EXCUSE.
If they are sassy, I must still train diligently and SWEETLY.
If they are disobedient, I must still train diligently and SWEETLY.
If they speak or behave in some way that is not acceptable, I must still train diligently and SWEETLY.

You say that you have no choice but to become Ms. Nasty, but it isn’t true. Our behaviour is NOT dependent on the behaviour of others. Paul wanted to be content in WHATEVER situation he was in… He didn’t just be content when he was out of prison and things were going well… No, that’s NOT the way it works.

If you are “spilling” bitterness and anger it is because you are a cup filled with bitterness and anger. And the moment you are jolted and caught unaware, you spill it. You can fake sweetness and gentleness when prepared, but when jolted, what do you spill?

So what to do about it?

We must fill our cup with what we want to spill.

You can’t live for the world, or for pleasure, or for self, and expect to be a cup filled with Christ.

I wish you could. I wish *I* could.

I wish I could just sit here on the computer in cyber world where I can be “perfect” and not be in real life sometimes. Or that I could be not around children or situations where I am “jolted” into realizing that *I* am the problem… That my cup has bitterness, and ugliness, and selfishness all mixed ’round.

But how do you take a cup that has those things in it and then somehow replace it with goodness, gentleness, mercy, wisdom?

It is not by putting the cup on a prettier place setting. It is not by putting it in a museum where it will never be bumped or jostled.

It’s by filling it with goodness.
Read your Bible. Lots.
Listen to praise.
Redirect wrong thinking.
More importantly, RECOGNIZE wrong thinking. Your RESPONSE is NEVER dependent on their behaviour. Just because they behave “well enough” that you can fake your own good behaviour does NOT mean your cup is well filled. Remember the jolt….

And lest you think I’m being hard on you, you have to wonder how someone can understand this ugliness so well… Maybe it’s because she struggles with it and walks through it as well.

I pray the Lord would keep us BOTH choosing to fill our cup DAILY with goodness so that eventually all we can spill is sweetness and grace.

Blessings,
~Kelly

And the people said to Samuel, “Pray to the Lord your God for your servants so that we will not die, for we have added to all our other sins the evil of asking for a king.”

“Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied.  “You have done all this evil yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart.  Do not turn away after useless idols.  They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless.  For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject the people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own.  As for me, far be it from me t hat I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you.  And I will teach you the way that is good and right.  But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.  Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will be swept away.”

I found this interesting this morning and it reminded me of how discouraged we can become.  It seems as though when we make bad choices in our lives against whatever it is God has convicted us of – whether it is to speak gracefully, act gracefully, do this one thing, or not do this other thing, that when we fail we feel as though, “Why bother?  Why bother trying?  I’ll go and do this other thing so I am distracted from not being this person I SHOULD be.”  We, as a people, as women, as mamas, as sisters, become a very discouraged people.  Christ has called us to this task, to do (or not do) these things and yet it seems as though we fail daily.   Yesterday a dear, dear, sweet friend quoted this quote from Amy Carmichael on her Facebook page:

“A cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.” ~ Amy Carmichael

Oh would that I were so full of Christ, no matter how I was jolted that I wouldn’t spill out anything bitter.  I wish that were true.  I wish that when I was jolted by a bickering five year old, or a (fill in the blank) that I could still only spill  sweetness.

I thought about this much today and thought about how does one go about filling oneself so full of sweetness?  Well,  I suppose that that is a matter of what you put in your cup.   I can’t put both coffee and creamer in my cup and only have coffee.  That’s just silly.   I must continuously fill my cup with whatever it is I want to be filled with… Lest my drink be contaminated.    The picture becomes clearer, doesn’t it?

My friend Amy from Overweights of Joy posted this quote:

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. ~Jim Elliot

To give up the world, bitterness, anger, frustration… To choose to continually fill our cup with Christ, with sweetness, joy, gratefulness, thankfulness…  This is the ONLY way we’ll ever spill goodness when jolted.

It is easy enough when we are experiencing the soft, easy, gentle things in life to spill sweetness upon those around us.   But, when confronted with something difficult, ugly, traumatic, saddening, angering, do we still spill sweetness?  We must fill ourselves with Christ to spill Christ.

Moreover, as Samuel assured these people, we can’t let discouragement over past failures turn us from serving the one true God.   We mustn’t distract ourselves by serving idols as they are useless.

And so, fear the Lord, consider what He has done for you, serve Him faithfully, and far be it for you to not pray for your brothers & sisters. Be encouraged, go fill yourselves this morning.

Love,
~Kelly

Happy Thanksgiving.

I’m breaking the rules.  Siblings  – the single best gift I gave my children.

Grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Things have been just a wee bit wild around here lately.  We’ve been blessed by joining a local co-op and that has taken our Wednesdays.   It seems that we have steadfastly avoided that steady rhythmic pattern fall schooltime eventually hits.  Sigh.  But we simply could not force ourselves into a real schedule, but I promise I have a decent excuse… If you’ve ever lived in the Pacific Northwest, then you know – TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE GOOD WEATHER!  And Fall here in Oregon this year?  GASP!  Beautiful!  Crisp, lovely, and best of all – sunny.

It’s been raining for a week now and we’re only preparing to start week FOUR of school.  Nope, not kidding.  And I’m not remorseful.

But, I’ve had my hands full with a couple of other projects.

This is an incredibly poor picture of the carrier, but after adoring our spring market carrier, I was feeling a little itchy.  That lovely half buckle made it’s way to a new mama and I was feeling a little orangey.

Do notice La La’s pants please in the second photo.     Possibly my most favorite upcycle EVA’, they were a wool scarf from Goodwill.  The most gorgeous, stripiest, most delightful pants in the world with a little icord at the waist.  I’m seriously thinking about looking for another on Ebay as I’d bedeck myself in those stripes!   Ooh!  I do need to add – the appliqued straps were a breeze!  After years of considering applique torture, I ran across a blog some months back that suggested two things – Steam a  Seam Lite and Sewer’s Aid needle oil.  I’m so grateful!

Other than that I’ve been just a wee bit lazy if truth were told.

Let’s see… What have we made this season?  A carrier, a couple somethings for a sweet friend I’m finishing up today, wool pants, a pair of woolly leggings…  I know I’m forgetting something.  OH YES!  Now I remember!  A new baby!

Our tenth beloved addition should be joining us sometime this next year about mid-summer if we’re any judge at all.  Considering the chaos of the previous pregnancy, prayers are deeply coveted.  I’m not terribly excited to have to go searching for a new obstetrician when I have one I love back home, but these things are relatively minor considering I’m being blessed with a whole new human being.  Praise God!

~Have a wonderful day!~

Hot coffee while everyone is asleep…

A sweet smelling baby in my bed…

My favorite, cozy sweater wrapped around me…

A crisp fall morning…

Maybe Mondays aren’t so bad after all.

Enjoy your week, be encouraged, and appreciate the small gifts that exist in each day.  Gratefulness is contentedness.