This week has been a long one…  I feel I need to very much clarify a statement I made.  I said that I have parasites in my life – things that feed off the time, the energy, the creativity that God has given me.  And when I said this I also said that True Vine is one of those parasites.  A sweet friend pointed out to me that her business and customers are a blessing.  I think that she is right and that she must have balance in her life.  My customers are a huge blessing to me.  True Vine is/was a huge blessing to me.  A blessing can become a burden when you allow it to consume more than it needs or more than it should have.

I fully admit I have very little self control. 🙂  I have a hard time keeping myself organized, or moving on to the next thing, like a schedule.  I like to do things to completion.  An example is that if I want to clean my living room – everything must be done.  The cushions get vaccumed under, the books get reorganized, the furniture gets rearranged, we vaccum under all of it.   If I make cookies, I never make the kind you refrigerate!  Because if I stop what I’m doing and move onto something else, I’ve lost interest.   I essentially am an adult with ADHD and I don’t say it lightly.  I know how to arrange my life in such a manner that I can get things accomplished, but I have a tendency to hyperfocus on individual things.

True Vine is my area that I hyperfocus.  Understand that when I am actively creating, packaging, listing, doing photography, et cetera that True Vine takes about 60 hours a week.   Supper time is moved, schedules get off, and my patience can be ‘nil if I’m working on a particularly challenging formulation that I want just right.

There are those who believe that the actual sin is impatience or lack of self control.  That is absolutely true.  But when you know the source of sin, do you continue to do what you’re doing, or do you cut it off.  If your eye causes you to sin are you not better off plucking it out?  I have ran True Vine for about three years now.  I’ve learned SO much.

Those of you who know me well, know I worried about it taking over even at it’s inception.  True Vine comes from the Book of John, Chapter 15.  And it is to remind us that life outside of the True Vine isn’t real.  To have life we must stay plugged into God.  True Vine was named just what it was named because I needed that reminder to stay plugged into God  and the life that He had called me to. Unfortunately I tried for three years to maintain that and failed more often than succeeded.  Ultimately I can see I derived much pleasure from True Vine.  The greatest addiction, of course, was the pats on the back.  I enjoyed creating and being praised for my creations.  Motherhood is not a thankless task.  I am thanked in a multitude of ways each and every day as I watch my children grow.  But it is true that the vast majority of public certainly underappreciate it.  Here, though, this creation, my business did get recognition.  It was a way to show family, friends, aquaintances that I was living, thinking, being…  Very capable of other things – marketing, packaging, formulating, but CHOOSING to be a wife and mother. 

So is True Vine a blessing?  Absolutely.  But, it was also a source for me to choose a wrong way.  For me, I had a hard time balancing it.  The hours spent creating were minimal.  All told, if I mixed up a batch of soap… Even one layered, swirled, and as complicated as I could make it…. You are talking no more than two hours all told.  But, the cutting, the packaging, the printing of labels, listing, photographing, advertising to sell that soap added up to another 2-3 hours.  And this was true with every item.  The amount of time to make any package was generally multiplied by 2 or 3 by the time it was sold.  My herbs do not take nearly so much time, but the competition in Bath & Body is very steep and to market a product, it must be packaged just so. 

And so we came to a very difficult, but relieving decision, to sell True Vine’s formulations to another natural bath and body maker.  I’ll be making that announcement in the coming weeks when she is ready for it. 

We retain the name and the herbal part of True Vine.  But ALL of the bath and body formulations are hers and she will continue to make our products under her name so that our customers can continue with the items they need.  I feel sadness and relief and joy all at the same time.  It’s a little frightening to let go of something that took up so much time, but at the same time it is very freeing for me.